Your kids are at school, and you’re at work. Then the phone rings. It’s the school. The school nurse is letting you know that your little one has a fever — and that you should come pick her up. You grab your car keys and rush out the door — but wait — what about that client meeting in half an hour?
Life is full of surprise family issues that can throw a wrench in your workweek: sick kids, a runaway pet or an important doctor’s appointment. The next time you get a surprise call, don’t panic. These tips for work and home can help you tackle such problems.
- Be Transparent With Your Boss
Many employers understand that parents need to take care of important family matters. Talk to your manager, and try to establish some off-the-books flexibility, if possible. Explain that if you need to leave work early, you can pick up where you left off from home. Be a good team player and emphasize that you’ll cover for other working parents when they have similar situations. Be grateful to your coworkers for the coverage they give you when you need to skip out. Granted, this is what teams do for eachother, but if somone does something above and beyond (like gives a presentation for you), a small thank-you (flowers or batch of cookies) is a nice way to keep morale strong. And be sure to send a positive email to tell your boss to say you’re thankful and ready to jump back in the game once your child is back on track.
- Be Proactive at Home
Set up a command center at home before disaster strikes. Keep a worst-case-scenario handbook ready and up-to-date for your nanny or spouse so they can handle minor emergencies on their own, and run through the plan with your children so they know what to expect. Create a list of secondary phone numbers in case you can’t be reached right away at work, and also include your pediatrician’s advice line. If your doctor doesn’t have one, check the back of your health insurance card or the National Institutes of Health’s toll-free hotlines. Having a plan like this in place ensures that everyone knows what part to play when your little one comes down with a fever. When you’re confident that your family is well cared for, you may not need to leave work at all.Worried about how your child may handle herself when you’re running late? You can plan ahead for that, too. Kim John Payne, the author of “Simplicity Parenting,” says that building a routine is important for your child because it provides a feeling of comfort. Whether it’s doing homework right after school, or eating meals at the same time each day, these familiar and regular activities can help your child cope if you are late from work.
- Be Realistic With Yourself
Dr. Shefali Tsabary, a clinical psychologist specializing in family dynamics and author of “The Conscious Parent,” says that surprising emotions may emerge in working moms when their workday is interrupted by family issues. You might feel relief, anger or even embarrassment — and that’s OK. “Having to address an issue of behavior, sickness or some other form of disruption rarely occurs at an ideal moment,” Dr. Shefali says. Inevitably, emergencies will come up and you’ll have to drop what you’re doing to deal with them.Instead of becoming upset at something that’s beyond your control, recognize these times as opportunities to adjust your response. Being annoyed just adds more stress to your life, so learning how to take these issues in stride will make you happier in the long run. For Dr. Shefali, a new incident is an opportunity to practice patience — and while there are many of those times as a parent, it’s important to remember that you can’t always be in control. “Embrace [these moments] as valuable opportunities for growth,” she says.
Bethany Johnson, a professional writer from Washington, DC, specializes in the quirks of family life and relationships. When she’s not writing, Bethany and her husband raise both free-range chickens and free-range children on their organic farm in the suburbs.
