Mary Poppins taught us that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. Mrs. Doubtfire discovered that being an excellent nanny is a lot harder than it looks. But what have real-life nannies learned that they wish they’d known when they started their careers?
Read on for some sage advice from savvy nannies (including some from Care.com’s Facebook page) who have “been there, done that.”
- Be Open to a Career as a Nanny
“That being a nanny would become a career choice, not just a way to pay for college.”
~Brandy A. via FacebookHere are 10 Career Tips from Career Nannies
- Learn About the Family
“During the interview, take time to learn all you can about the family, their routine, expectations, and what they like to do — to make sure you both are the perfect fit for each other. It is important that the nanny ask as many questions as possible about the things that seem really little, but can become big issues over time, such as using the car, what food we can eat, how we negotiate overtime work hours and vacation and what we do about taxes. It will only help both the family and nanny to have a great experience with each other.”
~Flavia Jordan, Vail, Colorado
- Ask What Your Responsibilities Are
“Be sure to ask questions about their expectations for what needs to happen day-to-day. This is more about the little things — like to what level I should clean the house or organize the pantry. Am I supposed to do the parents’ laundry, too? You need to know if those things are important, or if they prefer you spend all your time with the kids.”
~Alexandra Kastner, Sacramento, California
- Discuss Parenting Styles
“Make sure you and the family you work for have similar “parenting” styles when it comes to discipline and guiding children to make the right choices for themselves. I once worked for a family who wanted me to bribe their daughter. Literally bribe her. It went against every fiber of being in my body!”
~Gina Ware, Chicago
- Understand the Difference Between a Nanny and a Babysitter
“Remember that you are a nanny and not a babysitter. The difference to me is that a babysitter is usually someone taking care of kids for date night or on an occasional basis. Their job is more to just have fun with the kids. Your role as a nanny, however, is to be a nurturer. Just like a parent, your focus should be on teaching kids to be productive and confident people. In the beginning as a nanny, I felt pressure to always be playing with the kids and constantly picking up after them. I’ve since learned that this is a huge disservice to kids — the best thing you can do for them is to allow them to play by themselves sometimes so that they learn to be independent, and to kindly direct them toward picking up their own messes so that they learn to be responsible for themselves.”
~Emily Bicknell, SeattleRead more about the Difference Between a Babysitter and a Nanny.
- Agree on a Nanny Contract
“Contracts are not just a suggestion, they are so necessary!”
~Brianne W. via FacebookLearn more about Why You Need a Nanny Contract.
- Wear Different Hats
“You’re about to take a position where you are not only a child care provider but a house manager, chauffeur, cook, bodyguard, nurse, referee, safety zone, and — the best part — a valued part of the family.”
~Stephanie K. via Facebook
- Correct Pay Mistakes
“Don’t be afraid to ask about a paycheck that does not add up to what you are owed! Parents are exhausted creatures — sometimes their math is off or they forget about that time you stayed late last Friday. In my experience, they are more than happy to correct a mistake. They appreciate the work you do and want you to know it!”
~Abby Ecker, Cambridge, Massachusetts
- Get Ready to Get Involved
“How attached you become not only to the children but to the whole family.”
~Stacey K. via Facebook
- Remember that You’re Not the Parent
“You will end up feeling like their parent, yet you aren’t. It’s this strange feeling….you are with them all the time, and they look to you and even mistakenly call you mom, but in the end, you aren’t the parent. That means that even though you might want to do certain things or think certain things might be best for them, you have to defer all decisions to the parents. That part got harder for me as I got older and had been around the parent block myself a time or two.”
~Susan Faber, Cerritos, California
- But You Should Be the Boss
“Yes, you will have a boss (or two or three!), but when they are not around, you are in charge. It is okay to be “the bad guy” once in a while if it is to protect the children in your care from themselves or from the outside world. It’s okay to say “no” (when appropriate) and to let children throw a fit. They will appreciate your consistency and eventually understand that it comes from a loving place.”
~Abby Ecker, Cambridge, Massachusetts
- Know that It Can Be Icky
“I wish I knew how much bodily fluid you see on a daily basis!”
~Katie G. via Facebook
- Stay Calm
“Sometimes the best thing you can do is to take a moment to breathe before responding to a grumpy/tantruming/over-tired/disrespectful child. Try to think of creative ways to diffuse the situation and keep a positive attitude, rather than giving into the temptation to yell. If you feel like you can’t do that, it’s okay to put the kid in their room for a bit to give both of you a moment to calm down. Just remember in the midst of frustrating situations with kids that you will also get to go home at the end of the day.”
~Emily Bicknell, SeattleGet more advice on How to Stay Calm.
- Make Time for Yourself
“How important it is to keep your friendships with other adults and how much you need time for yourself.”
~Stacey K. via Facebook
Cathie Ericson is a freelance writer whose work appears regularly in parenting and business publications, both print and online. Follow her on Twitter @CathieEricson.
