Sitting for Pre-Teens: Fun things to do

Eleven- and 12-year-olds are so close to being teenagers -- but they're not there yet. Though they're becoming independent, they still need boundaries, proctors, and chaperones. You can have fun with a 'tween, as long as she knows you're still the boss.

Play by Her Rules

If you encounter a 'tween on a bad day, you're up against crazy hormones with a side of attitude. And it's not much better on a good day. If you're in charge of caring for a 'tween, try the following:

• Find out what she's interested in. For some 'tweens, it might be fashion and music. For others, it might be sports or science, and for still others it may be drama. Ask her what their interests are. Ask her why an outfit is so cool, or why a sports team is so great. If you can talk to her about the things that matter most to her, you'll at least be able to relate on one level.
• Give a little bit. If her parents say she can wander the mall on her own, say, in half-hour increments, park on a bench and let her go, as long as she reports back to you every 30 minutes.
• Let her dictate the day -- or at least part of it. Let her pick a movie, a museum, or a restaurant, and let her choose the radio station for the car ride there.

The bottom line

A 'tween needs room to grow. Stand back a little, and let her invite you into her world. Make an effort to explore the things that interest her most.